I’ve been caught up in the mad, mad scramble of preparing for Christmas; school concerts, piano recitals, children’s hockey parties and general preparations, so I have been availing myself of the local drive-thru windows.  This has made me privy to a new and irritating trend – and it isn’t, “Would you like to super-size your fries?”  It hasn’t been THAT long.  It is the parting I have come to detest.

It is at Tim Horton’s, Home Depot, McDonald’s, at multiple clothing stores…even high-end stores.

It is the dreaded, Have a good one.

Ugh.

Each time, I want to stop, turn and whine at the offender;

“Really?  Awww, come-on…not you too?  And things were going so well between us!  But you had to ruin it.  You had to say it… 

A good one?!  One..what?  A good day?  Afternoon?  Evening?  Tooth extraction??!

You don’t even care enough to know what time it is!  But I already knew that.  I already knew you didn’t care whether it was the afternoon or the morning or the evening, but now you don’t even care enough to pretend you care!”

Maybe that’s the point.  Some people have stopped even pretending they care, and my rose-coloured glasses are getting all fogged up.

I fancy myself a descriptive vs. a prescriptive linguist of sorts…so I began to wonder at the etymology of the expression.  Then I pondered if, in fact, the direction may actually have come from corporate head-offices in order to increase the tone of familiarity between clerk and customer.

And so I googled the phrase.

Definition one in The Urban Dictionary states that “Have a good one” is a friendly way of saying goodbye to someone.

Not too bad.

Definition two states its a way to dismiss someone you know or someone you don’t want to know.  It can be used as a way to avoid talking to someone.

Hmmm.

Definition three may be, perhaps, most interesting to those in head-office, if the direction indeed came from them.  Have a good one is, evidently, an alias for “Have a good wank,” or “Go f*** yourself.”  

Lovely.

It really makes me see the clerk’s goodbye after yesterday’s coffee order in an entirely different light.

“Here’s your double double. Now go f*** yourself!”

Yikes!

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