During a walk in the park with Charlotte a few days ago, we were a good distance out in the field, so I briefly unclipped her from her leash to pick up after her “business”, so to speak.  Suddenly a voice bellowed, “Put your F*&^ing dog on an f*&^ing LEASH!”

I stood up slowly, completely stunned, with the bag over my hand like a mitten, stabbing toward it with one finger from my other hand, seeing an older man holding a golf club about 20 metres away on the path.  “I’m just picking up her poop!” I said, cheerfully.  

Translation?  I’m a responsible dog owner here Buddy!  Don’t yell at me, okay?

“I don’t care what the f&*% you’re doing! Put your f*&%ing dog on a leash!”

I slowly stood up again…”Yes, I have her leash right here…”

“Then f*&%ing PUT IT ON THE THING!  You’re supposed to control your f*&%ing DOG.  It says so on the sign!” he screamed.

I continued, “YES.  I saw it on the sign right next to NO GOLFING.  Enjoy the nice sunny day sir.  Goodbye.”  I dismissed him and bent down again to finally pick up the poop once and for all.  I was beginning to lose my temper.

He wouldn’t abate, “Oh you’re a smart one…  You F*&%ing DOG OWNERS and your F*&%ing DOGS!  Is there anything worse than DOG owners and their F*&%ing DOGS???”

That was it.  I was finished.  I stood straight up.

“Weeeelll!”  I began, “Since you asked!  YES.  THERE.  IS!”

“MISERABLE.  OLD.  FOUL MOUTHED MEN LIKE YOU!  WHO ARE TOO GRUMPY TO ENJOY A GORGEOUS SUNNY DAY LIKE TODAY! THAT’S WHAT!”

He growled, “No wonder your dog is such an idiot when it has an owner that is a DICK like you.”

I briefly entertained the thought of telling him that I have an Uncle Dick who is actually a pretty successful and intelligent guy, so perhaps  calling me a dick was, in actuality, a compliment…

..but he had a golf club and I had a bag of poo.  I knew this could only be a messing ending for both of us.  

Besides the only good part of a fight, is its ending.  So I took my dog and walked off into the sunshine.

The end.

 

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